You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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