please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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