I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
