No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
