dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
