He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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