i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
