I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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