Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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