You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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