I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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