I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you would pick up someone in the library
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
