just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
did i just pee glitter
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
