I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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