all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Is it penis luge time yet?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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