I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
