And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize