btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
