So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
