she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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