You smell like a Billy Joel song
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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