great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
