You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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