Dual....:-)
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
