Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize