? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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