I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
