4 words: hood of his car
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize