My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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