Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
