look no pants
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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