Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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