At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
