Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
