Cold hands, warm shart.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
