best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
