Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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