Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize