He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
it's great music for shaving your balls
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
