She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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