i jhust puked up my retainher.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
