make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
