she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
