Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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