i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
