we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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