Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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