He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
