So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
