Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
