If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
