A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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