So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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