i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize