Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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