I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
