Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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