I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
