If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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