remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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