the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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