I love black thongs
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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