Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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