I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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